Adele Nwankwo

I IMAGINE CHILDBIRTH

as the cyclical blooming of a joycean nightfruit
an unfurling of a pelvis a fracking of the
limbic so that what ccs of joan-of-arc fury

epidural dilation in cms husband’s rattling breath stench of bechamel on
the fat white doctor’s maw more dilation nurse’s strong-but-bony hands
the reassurance while travelling narcotic inward to salem every shout of

encouragement a jeer as i go under in a barrel now
of splinter & pharmacology (not a—witch! just a—would-be—mother!)
to bob back up to wet nap upon forehead peo

ple i know and back down and people i know and love in town hold
pitchforks grind their butt-ends into soil like toothpicks into vul
vitis you’re doing great honey! your mom would be so proud of you

                            mom who didn’t want me
                           probably isn’t here (couldn’t
                           get away from fourth-wife duties) mom

                                                        in the crowd with the rest of them pitchfork
                                                        swathed in rheum and preordaining judgment w/
                                                        whore daughter who never did her no right and

         couldn’t keep a guy off her longer
         than a jar of scraps could larvae be
         better for all if god dragged her to

                                                        riverbed bed a river of sweat and
                                blood blood as breach more ccs of

whoineedwha?ium
mind chattering in the break

 

         down below the crests held down held breath
         she’s crowning! calls more-dilation filter’s
         witch i am which mother am i to a girl, a healthy

                                     baby girl as i come to surface drafting down air pitchforks still
                                    uneasy it’s a girl given the sorceress given to the daughter never
                                    wanted a girl given to replace a magic that no well-placed trial

 

could asphyxiate.


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