Ash Reynolds
A SELFIE: GENDER EUPHORIA IN SMOKE
After the film, I Saw the TV Glow
tv playing on the teal wall, my new favorite song from my new favorite movie
i am the foreground: hair slicked back by anxious hands and pomade, hexagonal blue tortoise
shell glasses on my face: degrees of curves, my oblique cheeks sun-touched,
nose ring golden glow, mouth stained red, emitting smoke, soft double chin swells
certain. shoulders settled; gaze irrefutable.
ebony lace oxford shirt,
masculine construction,
feminine materials,
nothing underneath but a black lacy bralette,
my pale chest shimmers below obsidian spiderwebs
confidence
creeps
up my collar
like sugar snap peas
on a garden cage
verdant viny fingers
gently lovingly grasping &
there is still time.
i am surrounded by souvenirs:
the incense burner a sunny tetrahedral temple;
polished carnelian—liquid saffron trapped
under glass;
a pristine green globe spun with his ashes,
what’s left of a good man;
arranged on the console table
central to the room but not the photo
i am made of mementos and
protest signs:
fuck binaries
&
there is still time.
inhale vapor, lungs balloon
with lavender-flavored
ghosts—exhale:
haze-breath
dissolves
distorts
devours
& there is still time
to feel eternal
divine.
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