B.B.P. Hosmillo
REUNION
because trauma / stellar graveyards /// stars that keep on exploding / inside glass boxes with your chopped body parts / / / because fear of tomorrow because when i move there’s that sound of two metal baoding balls colliding in my head /// i walk slowly / back to my apartment /// i hold my head / tightly so it won’t fall off almost like a bird /// that should die in my hands not /// hands of others / to restrain it / to look normal / / / to keep my soul within / ribbed / spined / colossal /// to be perfectly still in fragmentariness /// /// /// to glue the parietal lobe to the centripetal and the beggar face to my face / i cannot /// imagine an easy way to care / for your body when you are gay and subject to hurt /// ///though that must be / a good feeling /// there are about four or five kids crossing andeogwon road / helmeted / boys on bicycle like / my childhood neighbors who would throw / whatever animal they killed that day at my house and / yell / come out here now skinny four-legged ballerina /// but they don’t know last / night my partner / choked me / and i ran away into /// delirium /// short for my eyes cannot connect to anything /// bats in a pizza box /// /// hey god i know what i want / / / less of mourning / that when i think of what to come / it doesn’t have to be / my sister / and my mother / and my father in the airport in manila / /// cold with clogged nose / / / bells in their mouths / / opening / / a cadaver bag to see / / / me