Claire Scott

LIVING ON AN EXOPLANET

Incurable he said
and the earth spun off its axis
plunging into strange planet
where I was instantly over my head
in a wave of alien words
Retuxent, Bendamustine, Ig Panel

Black crickets in my brain
chirping cancer when I sip coffee
cancer when I cross the street
cancer when I collapse on the couch

I live on Kepler-186f
circling a red dwarf star
over five hundred light years
from lattes and text messages
from Pilates and TikTok
scientists don’t know if this exoplanet

Can support life and neither do I
unfamiliar to myself, forgetting pills
and appointments, books piled
unread, clumps of grey hair on my pillow

The doctor’s incurable haunting
like a dybbuk, no exorcism possible
no bread crumbs back
but each day more arrive on Kepler-186f

(others slip-slide into
boson stars or black holes)
and we cry and complain
and share bright hoops of laughter
hoping to live and love
each moment we have left

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